


Turn the Lights On

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Platonic Romance, it's not just platonic but that's really what's most important whatevs, non-sburb AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:43:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Massively freeform coming of age story from Dave's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turn the Lights On

**Author's Note:**

> this is really informal and i wrote it in half an hour so don't take it too seriously.  
> i just love me some rosedave. especially rosedave that starts with confused sex and ends with a deep love based on friendship, shared hardship, and understanding.
> 
> the title is inspired by the song [volatile times](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLiKtMJaJoY) by iamx.

**I.**

you’re not sure what to make of her

she’s taller than you are but not by much and you’re still growing

you have time to catch up

she surprises you the first time you meet

calls you dave and says she’s rose and you meet her eyes and

they’re fucking purple

and it’s so gorgeous you could just die but you don’t

you breathe and you’re not sure how and then she’s talking

telling you about how she’s been looking forward to meeting you and shit

she sounds like a therapist or a big-bosomed church queen

she reminds you of home

of a home you aren’t familiar with

and the sense of longing is so strong you want to fall over

you’re nine when you kiss her on the cheek under the mistletoe

and she laughs and says ‘ironically?’

and you say ‘obviously’

and you don’t talk about it again for a long time

 

**II.**

her name is rose but you think she looks more like a lily

or a venus fly trap with a shitload of teeth

even though venus fly traps don’t have teeth

but you don’t know that because you’re twelve and who really gives a shit

bro says ‘make nice’

rose’s mom roxy says ‘you kids had better not do anything i would do’ with a wink

and you know what she means because you’ve been thinking about it

and it’s so naughty you want to scream but you just want to

touch her hair

and kiss her

and see if she’s as fascinated by you

as you are by her

rose tells you later that kissing isn’t naughty and you tell her to fuck off

even as she sits in your lap with her arms around your neck

and her breath smells like your toothpaste and

it’s so

wonderful

 

**III.**

she doesn’t come around for a while

it’s your fifteenth birthday and you haven’t seen her in seven months

she doesn’t talk much to anyone

hasn’t talked to you in three months at all

won’t answer your messages

tentacleTherapist stays offline

roxy says ‘she just needs some space right now babe she’s a teenager’

and you think fuck her because there’s nothing wrong with being a teenager

and you’re not nearly as overemotional as adults like to play you up to be

and when you tell roxy this

the third time you call for rose and she deflects

she just laughs this long tinkling laugh that makes you grit your teeth

because it’s not rose

it’s not rose’s deep sultry laugh

it’s not rose’s mouth curling in a smile that makes your pants feel tight

it’s not rose’s lips that you can just imagine wrapping around your cock and

you have to stop

you’re getting worked up

you bite out a ‘thank you ms. lalonde’ and hang up

maybe next time rose will answer

 

**IV.**

‘it’s a boy’ rose tells you

when she finally tells you anything

and she says she’s keeping it

and you’re so mad you could scream

so you do

you call her a cheating whore

a liar

you call her every name you know from all the trashy porn you watch

and all the angry sitcoms

and all the action films and hbo dramas

and she just sits there

her face as passive as ever

her fucking stomach the size of a watermelon

‘everyone knows you can’t get pregnant your first time

and besides we used protection so it must be someone else’s’

she doesn’t say anything and when you’re done screaming you can’t think of anything to say

so you leave

you stop talking to her

stop talking to roxy

bro doesn’t

keeps in touch with them

she gives birth

it’s hard on her and she almost doesn’t make it

you’re at the hospital before you know what you’re doing

she’s almost sixteen when she has the baby and you swear to god it looks like your brother

and you wonder if she fucked him just like she fucked you

the one time she fucked you

you want to vomit

she names the baby dane and it’s your father’s name

she asks you if you want to hold him

you tell her to fuck herself

you won’t hold your brother’s bastard son

bro punches you in the face

drags you out and takes you to the bathroom and beats the shit out of you

tells you to man the fuck up and take care of your fucking kid

and you tell him ‘i could say the same to you cockbite’

he clocks you again

tells you he didn’t fuck rose

tells you you’re a goddamn joke

tells you to google safe sex

tells you he knows you’ve been fucking her

and you scream ‘making love to her’ because that’s what it was

and then you’re sobbing

big broken sobs

you’re sliding down the tile wall in the bathroom and bro’s arms are around you

you’re begging him to tell you the truth

he says ‘christ kid i didn’t touch her’

and you’re asking him if it’s really yours

he tells you to ask rose

so you do

and the smile on her lips when she says ‘yes’ would be nice

if you didn’t faint

 

V.

you’re not a good dad

you can’t stand the sound of him crying

it makes you want to scream

rose says it’s okay to be unused to this

that it’s not your fault and you’ll grow into it

you’re turning sixteen

you don’t want to grow into it

you want it—

you want the baby

to just go away and leave you and your rose alone forever

but you don’t even want to look at rose anymore

because every time you do she looks tired and uninterested and just as scared as you are

that this kid will ruin your life

that you’ll ruin his

you don’t touch each other again for a long time

but rose moves in with you and bro and suddenly you don’t want to touch her

because she’s everywhere all the time and it’s like talking to a short

way too fucking perceptive

clone of bro

and you wonder if you have some fucked up daddy complex to pick a girl

who acts so much like your guardian

rose smiles mysteriously at you when you make this observation

and you think she’s probably had the thought before

and bro himself

he’s a natural father

and you almost shit yourself when you see how good he is with dane

because the kid loves him

and he loves the kid

and you didn’t think striders could do love

but there’s bro showing more affection to an infant

than he ever has to you

roxy hears you muttering this to rose

you didn’t hear her come in

you don’t understand lalondes for all that striders are fucking ninja legends

and when roxy hears you saying bro doesn’t love you

she smacks you with an open palm

and tells you not to speak of stuff you don’t know

you look at bro and absently wonder if maybe he actually was kind to you

before you became a stuck up pretentious asshole who doesn’t know how to accept praise

rose tells you not to be hard on yourself

you spend your sixteenth birthday elbow deep in baby shit

and you cry yourself to sleep

 

**VI.**

you’re almost twenty

and dane’s in the first grade now

he’s such a smart little shit

you had to really work the system to get him in

had to rub its balls and lick its shaft so he’d be allowed to attend school

and for the first time in years you don’t feel exhausted when lunchtime hits

you and rose have this little apartment to yourselves now

and you haven’t fucked since senior prom when rose returned to bro’s place draped around your shoulder

in the nicest dress you’ve ever seen

with her full breasts all sweaty from dancing and her woman’s hips shifting so easily

she lets you fuck her against your bedroom door

and bro yells at you to ‘cut that shit out

i’m watching tv’

so you two moan louder and he turns the volume all the way up

and rose is so tight and warm and good

but you don’t want her

and you think you probably never did

your dick did

does

it wants anything warm and tight

and it wanted rose because she’s soft everywhere and so feminine

but when you’re alone you’re thinking of the boy in your anthropology class

john

when you touch yourself

and once

you catch yourself jerking it to the thought of bro all sweaty from housework

and when you vomit and confess this to rose

because you don’t ever withhold anything from her

she pats your back and says it’s okay

the you’re not as sick as you think you are

so you go back to touching yourself to pretty filipino boys with bucktoothed grins and dorky glasses

on your twentieth birthday you stand on a bridge in the park

in the middle of the snowiest day of the season so far

and you tell bro ‘hey dude i’m gay’

and he says ‘okay lil’ man’

he gives you a small-sized vibrator as a present that year

which you promptly throw at him

and which you find on your pillow on your own bed later that night

and which you cram halfway up your ass as you moan his name

your son knocks on your door and you curl up

you’re so ashamed

you shouldn’t be around children

he says ‘daddy look at this shit i drew’

and you do

because you love this kid like air

you remember that bro was only fifteen when your parents died

and you don’t remember them at all

but you know he took care of you

hiding from the government and working for under the counter pay

and keeping you alive

and when you look into dane’s big orange eyes

so like your bro’s and you guess yours if you hadn’t been born a mutant

(because you’re not albino and you don’t know where the fuck these eyes came from)

you think maybe you understand a little

why he didn’t just hand your ass over to foster care

rose tells you she met a girl at work

kanaya

and that she’s planning on dating her

you say okay

and you ask john out

when dane asks why his mommy and daddy

because the little fucker uses those words with mock endearment bless him

when he asks why you have a boyfriend and mommy has a girlfriend

you tell him ‘why the fuck not’

and he nods sagely

like it’s so obvious and everyone should know that mommies and daddies have girlfriends and boyfriends

like duh

how did you not know that you must be dumb wow

you laugh until you’re crying

and when rose finds you she’s got a little smear of green lipstick at the corner of her mouth

you think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen her even a little disheveled

so you start laughing harder

and you tell her you love her

her answering smile is so sweet it hurts

it makes you start thinking about a lot of things

but mostly you remember why you kissed that girl

ironically

so many years ago under the mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> if you're sitting there thinking 'but this isn't dave's typing style,' you're correct. and it wasn't meant to be.  
> it's my typing style. just so you don't start thinking i can't dave.
> 
> you can find me at reduxcorrelator.tumblr.com. if you have any concerns, critiques, questions, or requests, please feel free to leave a comment on the work or send me a message at my blog. feedback is very much appreciated.


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